Benjamin Franklin once said, “If you would be loved, love and be lovable.” Love is something we are all in at least one time or another in our life. There are many different meanings for the word love and many people interpret it differently. Love as defined by Webster’s dictionary is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. When you love someone you care not only care about them as a person, but also about their well being. When they are hurt, you feel hurt and when they are in pain you feel pain also. Their physical and emotional problems are not only theirs, but they are yours as well. To be in love means to care about that person so deeply that your life would not be complete without them. The fact that you cherish one person so much is a blessing to some, as well as a gift.
The following fable tells of an orphan girl who had all the happiness in the world.
“There is a wonderful fable about a young orphan girl who had no family and no one to love her. One day, feeling exceptionally sad and lonely, she was walking through the meadow when she noticed a small butterfly caught unmercifully in a thornbush. The more the butterfly struggled to free itself, the deeper the thorns cut into the butterfly from its captivity. Instead of flying away, the little butterfly changed into a beautiful fairy. The young girl rubbed her eyes in disbelief.
‘For your wonderful kindness,’ the good fairy said to the girl, ‘I will grant you any wish you would like.’
The little girl thought for a moment and then replied, ‘I want to be happy!’
The fairy said, ‘Very well,’ and leaned toward her and whispered in her ear. Then the good fairy vanished.
As the little girl grew up, there was no one in the land as happy as she. Everyone asked her the secret of her happiness. She would only smile and answer, ‘The secret of my happiness is that I listened to a good fairy when I was a little girl.’
When she was very old and on her deathbed, the neighbors all rallied around her, afraid that her fabulous secret of happiness would die with her. ‘Tell us, please,’ the begged. ‘Tell us what the good fairy said.’
The lovely old woman simply smiled and said, ‘She told me that everyone, no matter how secure they seemed, no matter how old or young, how rich or poor, had need of me.’”(Canfield 117-118).
People often confuse happiness with actually being in love. They think that because they are happy, that they are in love. When in fact for the most part they are just happy with the idea of being in love and spending the rest of their life with someone.
Many people break up and get divorces. Sometimes it makes you wonder if they were even in love to begin with. So many times people rush into relationships and become involved way to quick. I once caught myself all wrapped up in a girl, that I forgot what was most important thing,…me. I forgot about pleasing myself and making myself happy because the whole time I was constantly doing things to please her. He claimed she loved me and was extremely happy, but in actuality I believe she was in love with the idea of what I could do for her to make her happy. She was not in love with me because love does not mean being selfish. When someone loves another person, they are not always concerned with what they can get out of the relationship; they are concerned with what they can put into it. Being happy with a person does not always mean that you are in love. I think you find this most in young relationships. I know in my case I thought that I was so in love and that I could never find that certain someone to make me feel the way that person made me feel. I was devastated for some time but come to find out years later, I was not in love to begin with.
For the most part when you love someone and you want to spend the rest of your life with him or her, you will know it. You know how people always say its just that gut feeling inside that makes them know for certain they are in love. The one thing that I have always wanted to be is in love. I want someone to love me unconditionally for me and who I am, not for my looks etc. That may sound conceited, but sometimes you see people constantly talking about so and so because of their looks when they don’t even actually know the person. I believe that the personality and morals of a person make them the most attractive of all. Just because someone has the looks and seems to have everything else going for them does not mean that inside they are happy with themselves. “Love is patient… kind… does not act unbecomingly… is not provoked… does not take into account a wrong suffered… believes all things… hopes all things… endures all things. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5,7-8.) When it comes down to it, we all just want to be loved.